Some 15 odd years ago, I was a new wife and mom trying to find my way and rhythm through homemaking and motherhood. I often tell the story of the disastrous Zimbabwean traditional meal of sadza and makuru (tripe) that I made for my husband as a newlywed after he made a special request for it. It would be the first of many kitchen fails that led my husband to become the designated cook during the first few months of us living together. I later taught myself how to cook through googling recipes. This was before Pinterest and is a story I will go into another time. Looking at my food pictures on social media today, you would never know that I used to be a terrible cook.
A few months following us being married, a baby was thrown into the mix. I was thrust into the beautiful yet often wild ride of motherhood. I found myself clueless on how I was going to balance being a wife, a mom and still run my household. Even though I had a very supportive mother who was there for me, there were certain things that even she didn’t know nor understand about being a wife and a mom in the United States. For mom, back home in Zimbabwe, she had the privilege, like some mothers in Zimbabwe of always having helpers a.k.a. nannies and maids to help her run her household. Unfortunately, the nanny services in the U.S. were ridiculously expensive compared to back home. This was a privilege that my husband and I simply could not afford as newlyweds in our mid-late twenties trying to find our way in life as a new family in the United States.
I was blessed early along my young wife and mom journey to meet some incredible women who lived the life I imagined homemaking and motherhood to be. These women became my role models and mentors. A few of them took me under their wings to show me the ropes of being a wife and a mom in the first world. Most of these women I looked up to didn’t even know that they were my mentors and teachers. I learnt from them mainly by observing them and taking what I observed back to my own home and customizing it to fit our lifestyle, budget and value system.
I always say to younger wives and moms, “seek out people that are not like you in order for you to learn from them”. You cannot learn new ideas or different ways of doing things from the same people as you, I am a testament to that. By signing up for different mom groups, programs and activities through my kids different ages and stages, I learnt a lot from women who did not look like me and were not raised in the same way that I was.
Today, I like to think of myself as having 15 years of experience at being a wife and a mom, 2 roles that I love and always wanted to fulfill from childhood. During my early experiences of being a young wife and mom, I wished I had someone who had held my hand and helped me figure out certain things like how to manage and make the most of my time around the home, how to make simple, good nutritious meals for my family, what traditions to introduce to my young family, what to expect at each developmental stage of my kids, the differences between girl children and boy children, how not to lose myself in the process of raising a family, the works – this is what inspired me to create this space.
The Bible in Titus 2:3-5 speaks of an older and mature Christian woman who teaches and encourages younger women. A quote by Martha Peace about the Titus 2 woman states, “she is called by God to make time for this work. She is not called to preach, but to teach, and most of what she has to teach is by example. Much is said and written today about “mentoring.” A mentor is a guide, a teacher, a counselor and advisor; all words that apply to the Titus 2 Woman.”
The Titus 2 woman is the woman I aspire to be as I teach other women how to navigate all things homemaking. I want to be that sister-friend that I needed when I was a new wife & mom going through the different stages of marriage and motherhood. I hope you can find that safe space here with me, as we together, build a community of women who will help each other tackle homemaking, motherhood, womanhood, and everything else in between. Let’s have discussions on how crucial our role is in nurturing our children and our unique responsibility of creating spaces of solace for our families.
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I look forward to our journey together,